Wicker

‘He's broad-shouldered, strong as an ox, and faithful as a dog; he fixes your roof when it leaks and your bed when you've just wrecked it together; he has the contours and voice of Alexander Skarsgård; he keeps saying things like: 'That I can see the sun and the sea is all thanks to you.' The Wicker Husband is, in short, the perfect husband. That this dream of a man is made of wicker, and therefore looks a bit like a monstrous, walking basket, hardly seems to bother anyone. Rarely have we seen so many happy faces on our feed as after the trailer for Wicker dropped. 'The girls are choosing the basket over the men', as someone put it in one of the thousands of reaction videos. The women in the medieval village of Wicker are all jealous of the Fisherwoman (Olivia Colman), who had a travelling master basket weaver make the Wicker Husband and is now the only one no longer stuck with love-free, orgasm-free evenings. Compared to the new straw arrival, the village's boorish men turn out even more boorish than expected, because they don't dance, they don't say sweet things, and they certainly don't contribute anything to the household. Such a shame that Wicker is just a fairytale and not a documentary. We want to move in with a sexy, soulful object too. Or was there another moral to this story? We didn't quite catch it, busy thinking about a broken bed and a leaking roof that still need fixing.’